A posting recently appeared on craigslist titled, “What am I doing wrong?” The writer is an articulate, 25 year old living in New York City. Although she is stunning and classy, she is single. And she wonders why. Why are some women living lavish lifestyles so “plain”? How does someone not as “smart” or “pretty,” marry an investment banker and live wealthily ever after while she who knows how to charm men with her beauty and intelligence, remains alone?

The answer lies in simple interest. Build instant attraction and you’ve got him. Fail to engage and create immediate rapport and you’ve lost. Teach yourself how to flirt with men using the SOFTEN flirting technique for women: smiling, with your body in an open stance, lean in slightly forward, touch him lightly on the arm or leg, hold your eye contact with him just a little bit longer than usual and nod slightly in agreement. The technique can be used by anyone regardless if you’re outgoing or shy.

S – Smile

O – Open Stance

F – Forward Lean

T – Touch

E – Eye Contact

N – Nod

As much as 80% of first impressions come from body language -posture, facial expression, eye contact, and gestures. Your body speaks as loud or louder than words so you want to teach your body how to flirt with men and how to charm men so it does most of the work for you. The SOFTEN flirting technique for women is body in action. Here’s what it looks like:

S – Smile. Smile at him. Your smile is one of the strongest tools you have in meeting and attracting a man. The smile’s powerful effect helps you to appear warm, friendly and open to conversation.

O – Open Stance. Face your body towards him, move your hands apart and expose your wrists to make you appear honest, available and open to approach. The way you position your body tells others how available you are to interact and how interested you are in what they have to say.

F – Forward Lean. With feet pointing in his direction, lean in towards him. Leaning forward is a sign of attraction and indicates your desire to engage with him. But only lean slightly, too far can indicate aggression.

T – Touch. Touch him lightly on the arm or leg. Touching expresses caring. The physical contact signals that you are open to emotional contact.

E – Eye Contact. Look into his eyes, holding eye contact slightly longer than usual. Use your eyes to express interest. The most interesting people are the most interested people.

N – Nod. Nod slightly in agreement when he is speaking. In conversation, we signal our understanding and encouragement non-verbally through nodding and affirmative vocal sounds.

Teach your body the SOFTEN flirting technique for women and the next time you meet a great guy, you will instinctively know how to flirt with men and how to charm men. Men love it, you’ll see.